Let me give you a typical example of the modern family… Joe is working very long hours and his wife Nancy is alone most of the time and feels that Joe isn’t there for her anymore. Now, Nancy is a housewife and cares for the children all day. But nobody and especially Joe isn’t caring for her. The question here is can this relationship be saved and should it be saved?
Well, here is how to save a relationship…
The first thing you must decide is whether or not the relationship is even worth saving. I can tell you for a fact that just about every relationship can be saved – albeit with some hard work. Of course! But saving a relationship shouldn’t be left to one person. Both must reach a mutual agreement to make a frayed relationship work. Because quite frankly, if one person wants to make the relationship work and the other doesn’t, well, there really isn’t any point continuing right?
Now a lot of folks have a sense of responsibility and will stay in a bad relationship because of the children. Or the relationship was a matter of convenience. To be honest with you, knowing how to save a relationship requires a commitment from both parties to save it.
The next stop after decided that you both do want to save the relationship is to locate the exact causes or problems inside the relationship. Now, I’m not talking about the symptoms of the problem but the underlying cause of the problem. There is a big difference and it will determine whether or not you save the relationship.
For an example… an affair isn’t the problem that caused the breakup or divorce. No, the affair is a symptom of a much deeper issue. How about a lack of true intimacy? If someone isn’t getting it in the relationship – they may be tempted to seek for it elsewhere. So intimacy and understanding each other goes a long way to fixing your relationship.
And when you do… figure out and fix the underlying causes of the breakup – rather than the symptoms… you are taking a positive step forward in saving your relationship.
And once you both start talking about the causes of the breakup – you start to share your thoughts and fears. You start to communicate each other’s concerns and this opens up a new level of understanding and how to modify the relationship so it will be stronger than ever. Here is a suggestion while talking with your partner hold their hands. It allows a connection between the both of you with all the stress and emotions being laid out. And you will be sharing the hurt feelings and remember not to take it personally. This is an important step to understanding and improving your relationship with each other.
The next step is a logical one as soon as you both identified the root cause of the problems in your relationship – it is time to create a plan of action to fix the problems. And then be sure to take those steps! And here is another idea for you if you don’t live together anymore – arrange with your partner to meet once a week, perhaps a “date night” on Wednesday night to continue to communicate. You can also spend a few minutes before you turn in for the night to call and talk to each other. So the last thing you are thinking about is your hopes and dreams with your special someone before you drift off to sleep.
The last thing I want you to keep in mind is to understand that fixing and saving a relationship is an ongoing thing. There are going to be set backs and set forwards. Just keep it going in the forward direction as much as possible. There are going to be a lot of happy moments and there is going to be a lot of sad ones. Another thing you can do… be the first one to apologize and refrain from blame.
This is how to save a relationship. The only question is do you have a plan?