You had just started dating a great guy. In your mind you two hit it off famously. You could feel the connection and you were already looking forward to what the future might hold. But something has changed. He said he’d be in touch and it’s been days now. You haven’t heard a word from him. There’s been no call and not one text message or email. What does it mean? Is there anything you can do to get him interested again or are you panicking for nothing? Once you understand why a guy doesn’t get in touch when he promises, you’ll understand exactly how to handle things.
If he said he’d be in touch and you’ve yet to hear a peep from his direction, don’t get yourself too worked up just yet. Typically, in the beginning stages of a relationship, a man likes to pace himself. He doesn’t want to appear over eager so he may take a bit of time to call after saying he will. It’s not uncommon for some men to take at least a week to make the next call. In their minds, this shows that they have restraint. If it’s only been a day or two, don’t get too concerned just yet. Give it a week and if he still hasn’t contacted you, you’ll need to get proactive.
The first thing you have to realize when he said he’d be in touch and he has yet to call is that you may have misread his interest. This happens to all of us at some point. Perhaps you read more into what you perceived he was saying and lost the true intent of what he was saying. A great example is when a man tells a woman that she’s unlike anyone he’s ever known. In your mind that may have sounded like a charming compliment when he meant that you’re very unusual and he felt uncomfortable. Think back to the last time you saw him and try and determine if anything like that occurred. If you still feel confident that he was really into you then, it’s time to step up your efforts to grab his interest back.
You have to make the next move yourself. Waiting for him to call after a week has passed is futile. If he hasn’t called by now he’ll likely never call. You need to ring him up and make some small talk. It’s a very big mistake to try and get an explanation out of him for why he hasn’t been in touch. He’ll come up with some sorry excuse and you’ll feel even worse than you did before you called. Instead, focus the conversation on catching up and the invite him out for something generic like a coffee or lunch.
What you’re trying to accomplish by doing this is reconnecting with him to see if anything really is there. If he agrees to meet with you, take that as a promising sign that he sees some potential between the two of you. If he doesn’t want to meet, it’s likely because he really doesn’t have the same interest in you that you had in him. The difference though will be now you’ll be sure of where you stand.