In the last decade or so dating advice for men has undergone a revolution as pick-up artists such as Ross Jeffries, Mystery and David D’angelo have pioneered radical methods for average men to achieve greater success with women.
The response from women who know about the community, to these methods, is generally negative, perhaps unsurprisingly, as no one likes to feel they could be manipulated by some mysterious technique.
Looking at the issue rationally, we should establish what these pick-up artists are trying to do and dissolve some of the misinformation flying around.
We should establish a few misconceptions:
First, pick-up artists generally are not misogynists any more than men in general. They love women. They want more of their company. Often men are drawn into the community because their love lives are failures, mainly due to following too much bad advice from popular culture about finding the right girl.
Second, although the object of being a pick-up artist is to seduce more women, it is highly debatable whether this constitutes manipulation. Most guys would like to seduce lots of women, they just don’t know how. Seduction does also require the assent of the women.
That, ultimately is the point of modern pick-up theory. The methods work because that is what women like, if they didn’t the methods would be exposed as useless and the world would move on.
All that said, for feminists who are worried about being manipulated by the methods of a pick-up artist here is some simple advice to prevent it ever happening. Judge the men you date solely on their fundamental rather than superficial qualities. Date men of good character. Date men who treat you with respect. Try and see strength in a man in areas which are not superficial.
Do NOT date a guy because he is hyper-masculine and “sexy”. Do not date him because he has a wide social circle, or because he has lots of women around him. Do not date him because he seems powerful, ultra-confident, or you think he has higher status than you.
Here’s some more practical advice: notice that guy you think is a “friend” who everyone else knows is in love with you. Recognize that you may very likely be happy with him in ways guys who are superficially more sexy will never make you. If you are in your twenties, bear in mind that in your thirties you’ll be kicking yourself for turning down a man like that.
In the unlikely event that women ever started following this advice every pick-up artist guru in the country would go broke within a few months. Sadly, I think that is unlikely to ever happen.